Friday, October 25, 2013

Consent, Shameful Parenting, and Supporting Self-discovery in kids

I've been blogging quite a bit over at Raising Allies.

Helping Our Children Understand Consent is a follow up to my post Consent and Parenting Young Children here at With the Family.

Shameful Parenting addresses the topic of public shaming being used by parents, as well as other forms of shaming. "Shaming doesn't work as a punishment. Shaming doesn't work as a way of "encouraging" someone to change their behavior, try harder, or do better. Shaming goes beyond embarrassment, it makes the recipient feel mortified, as if they are no good, worthless, isolated, and diminished. Children who are shamed internalize these feelings. Shaming attacks who they are, undermining their feelings of self-worth. And while shaming may temporarily stop a behavior, it does not solve anything, and is terribly destructive in the long run."

My most recent post Create Space for Growth, Change, and Trying New Things talks about how "It's awesome to support our kids in being who they are, but we also need to be open to change. We must guard against pigeon-holing them or putting them in a box and then resenting them or getting upset when they want to paint their box a different color."

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